There are many factors that contribute to effective communication, but one area that shows that you are able to speak effectively is how well you assert yourself during conversation.
Here are four tips that will help you increase your composure when giving an assertive message so that you can present what you have to say with confidence.
Tip One: Speak Immediately
When giving an assertive message it is important to speak about the topic you are concerned with while it is actually occurring - this will keep the flow of communication relevant.
If you wait for hours, days or weeks to approach the problem situation you may experience increased stress and sleepless nights as you brood over the matter. So aim to resolve the problem situation as close to when it is occurring as possible.
Tip Two: Be Direct
It is important to realize that the situation that you are in is primarily affecting yourself, not the other person. In fact, they may not know or even care that their actions are affecting you.
You will need to state the problem to them directly - provide them with an example of the annoying action or behavior. Further to help resolve the problem, it is best to suggest some alternative action that they may take, or ask them to stop doing it directly.
Tip Three: Be Pleasant
When you send an assertive message to another person you are asking them to stop performing some annoying behavior or action, and instead do something less obtrusive. So if you present in a hostile manner it is very unlikely that the other party will take you seriously. In fact it as more likely that you will create a huge scene, and turn your assertive message into an argument!
Instead, take a deep breath and find a pleasant posture. This will help you frame what you need to say in the right manner and your delivery is more likely to be accepted.
Tip Four: Keep Calm
The main risk in giving an assertive message is facing the resistance of the other party. Occasionally the other party may take offense at what you are presenting, or resist without apparent reason.
In these situations it is important to maintain your composure. If you act offensively they will not want to help you. Make up your mind to keep composed even if there is resistance, and repeat your assertive message until it is accepted.
By following these four tips when giving assertive messages you should experience increased confidence and other people are likely to respond to your requests.
Indooroopilly Toastmasters is a professional speaking club that can assist you to improve your confidence in speaking and communication.For more information visit
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