Do women want expensive gifts? Of course. But more importantly, women want men to be thoughtful about the presents they receive. They want to feel that you men are paying attention. A woman wants you to remember -- her favorite color, her taste in jewelry, whether or not she's on a diet, what she does and doesn't like.
How many times have you heard a woman say, "That's nice, but don't you remember that I'm not crazy about yellow? Think about it. Do I own anything in that color?" Or, "Did you forget that I'm on a diet?" Or, "It's beautiful, but do you mind if I exchange it for something that's more me?"
Women want gifts that are personalized. They want you to shop for them like a girlfriend would. For example, when shopping recently with a girlfriend of mine, she looked at a purse with a princess crown logo on it, but decided it was too expensive. I remembered this and on her birthday, I bought her a princess birthday card and some other items with the princess logo, and she was very touched. If I was her husband, however, I would have, of course, gone back and bought her the princess purse.
Women sometimes pick something up for each other and say, "I thought of you when I saw this." That's what we women want you to do. Even though it may not be in your nature to do this as often as our girlfriend's do, we want you to (on special occasions) to pay attention and personalize our gifts.
How to Personalize Her Gift:
1) Look and listen. She's probably giving you hints (intentionally or unintentionally) that you are not paying attention to. Listen up.
2) Ask her girlfriends what she wants. They probably know, or they can ask her and you can then still surprise her.
3) Stop to think about her interests and hobbies. Does she collect anything? Does she play golf or tennis? If you feel you can't pick something out yourself, get a gift card at a related store, or ask someone who shares her interest.
4) Do not go "practical." There is nothing less romantic than a vacuum cleaner or kitchen utensils. If she tells you she wants a refrigerator, then it's okay. But even then, buy a small romantic gift to go with it.
Just remember, when buying her a gift, personalize, personalize, personalize!
And what's my favorite gift, besides a surprise trip to Mexico? Lavender roses. Lavender is my favorite color (which he should know), and lavender roses are hard to find and it's something I buy myself when I can. And no, I've never received lavender roses from him, but if he sent them, I'd know for sure that he was really paying attention.
Are you paying attention?
Carolyn Bushong, a Denver,CO licensed therapist, helps couples and singles in her office, on-line,& by phone. Author of: Loving Him Without Losing You, Bring Back the Man You Fell in Love With, & The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes. Has appeared on Oprah. http://www.carolynsays.com. 303-333-1888.
