I recently heard about a study that asked wives what they want most from their husband. The overwhelming majority of them agreed on their answer. But that answer had nothing to do with sex, money, or children. No, what they said they wanted, more than anything else, was for their husbands to talk with them.
So guys, you know you need to talk to your wife. But why should you talk to your wife?
Most of time, Christian leaders will tell a man that he should talk to his wife for three reasons: (1) Because God demands it (as spiritual leaders in our home); (2) because God demonstrates it (by communicating with us); and (3) because our wives need it. All of these reasons are right on target, and they're the motives a man should have.
But, unfortunately, not all men have these priorities. Many men, whether they admit it or not, have the attitude of "what's in it for me?" While this is a selfish way to think, I'm not about to deny that it exists. And without trying to justify it, I can happily say that there's an answer to even such a self-centered question that moves us in the right direction.
So what does a man have to gain from talking to his wife (other than companionship, friendship, wisdom, love, understanding, and a whole host of other obvious benefits)?
Perhaps it will be easier to see if we first look at what he loses by not talking to her. The Scriptures tell us that when a man and woman marry, they become one (Matt. 19:5). So by not talking to his wife, the husband essentially cuts off half of who he is and leaves that half behind.
A man who cuts off the woman in his life loses the half he needs to moderate him and make him complete. Without her, he is left to follow his own path, which often leads to extremes.
If a man's sinful stronghold is lust, cutting off his wife allows him to pursue his lusts in the extreme. It often leads to adultery or perversion.
If he struggles with laziness, cutting off his wife could bring on sloth.
If his stronghold is violence, cutting off the influence of his wife will only make him more violent. You can see a perfect example of this in some Muslim cultures. In these cultures, men place women at significantly inferior roles. This essentially eliminates the woman's moderating tendencies. Such cultures give rise to Muslim extremists. But a bent toward uncontrolled violence will occur in any culture where men's hearts are not turned toward their wives.
On the flip side, when a man talks to his wife, especially about his sinfulness, it allows the wife to participate in moderating and/or eliminating those weaknesses. So the ultimate benefit a man gets from talking to his wife is protection -- protection from his own behavioral extremes.
Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit
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