If you want to learn how to be a player with women, then you need to learn how to deal with the natural resistance that women offer.
What do I mean by that? As you become comfortable with taking things to the next level with women, you may often hear women saying things like, "I can't believe I'm doing this!" or "I'm not usually like this" to avoid looking 'too easy.'
This is normal and you should allow the woman to play her part in the sexual courtship by not getting into a logical discussion with her about why she is doing it.
Just be cool and realize that women will naturally offer resistance all the way towards sex and relationships. You can expect resistance (in the form of behavior, words, body language, level of interest):
- On your initial approach.
- During conversation.
- When she sits alone with you.
- While kissing.
- When she leaves the venue with you.
- On the way to your car/home.
- When going inside the door of your car/home.
- When lying on your bed.
- During sex.
- After sex.
It doesn't mean she does't want to proceed, but is usually just a way of protecting her self-image and creating sexual tension in the same way that humans have for millions of years.
Disclaimer: If a woman says "No" and you force her to escalate with you against her will then you are committing a crime and deserve to be locked up in a jail.
Necessary disclaimers aside - stop for a moment and consider why light resistance is a totally naturally part of the process: Apart from creating sexual tension and protecting her self-image; light resistance is also a woman's way of testing how interested you are.
You can read light resistance as "I'm attracted to you, so please keep courting me. I'll keep throwing up little bits of resistance to protect my self-image and so my friends don't call me a tart later.
If you don't start behaving all weird like I'm rejecting you, then we'll probably end up having hot, raunchy sex in a matter of hours so please keep going. I love sex. Please be a man and lead the way."
What to say when a woman throws some light resistance your way: The flow of things can be completely ruined if you become nervous or uncomfortable when a woman throws in some light resistance. For example:
Woman, "Umm, I don't know if I should be doing this."
You: "It's okay...you're just being yourself around me; I respect people who just go with what feels natural."
If she says no again, then don't force it. Just go back to spending more time connecting with her. If you want to know how to be a player, then you have to realize this is a very important area of you 'game'.
Alternatively, if woman says "No" you can try these reactions.
- Ignore it and keep on going (e.g. she says "I can't believe I'm doing this" and you just change topics/start talking about something random or keep going with what you were doing).
- Give her a look and a grin to show that you know she wants you, but just needs a little more courting before she feels okay about moving things forward.
- Agree with her and then keep going.
For example: "Hey, you're right. We should stop doing this," and then pause, smile and do something a little less physical (e.g. go from kissing to stroking her hair) for a little while.
Then, when the time is right and some more sexual tension has been built, return to kissing. If she likes it, then continue. If not, then back off and get back into connecting with her.
The moral of the story? Don't just give up at the first sight of resistance. It is a totally normal part of the courting process.
So, there you have it - how to be a player when things are ready to move forward. Just remember: Women do want you to move things forward, but make sure you aren't forcing it.
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.
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