The decision to become pregnant after miscarriage can be an emotional roller coaster. On one hand you still want a baby, maybe more than ever but on the other hand, the fear of suffering another loss can be paralyzing.
The fact is, that many women are able to become pregnant after miscarriage without any difficulty. If you become pregnant after miscarriage, you may find yourself fearful that you will miscarry again. This is extremely normal and an emotion that many women feel. With the statistics of one in five pregnancies ending unexpectedly, it can be difficult to feel at ease, especially in the early first trimester. Once that week twelve-milestone hits, many couples feel a sense of sweeping relief as they know that their chances of miscarriage drop dramatically.
Blaming ones self for a miscarriage is a common thing. There is a strong likelihood that nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of a miscarriage. Most miscarriages occur due to chromosomal problems with the fetus and are out of our control. This can be difficult to accept and may play on your heart and your conscience. Its important to take the time to grieve your loss so that you can eventually move on.
Not knowing if you will face another loss can make it difficult to take the plunge to try. Hopefully you have strong support from your spouse and a good relationship with your doctor. Many women who have faced this loss do go on to have successful pregnancies in future but overcoming the fear to try is a big hurdle to overcome.
After facing one loss, the idea of another is often difficult to imagine. Some women have consecutive miscarriages and once a woman has three in a row, the doctors will look more closely at causes for the miscarriage. Becoming pregnant after miscarriage can be very unnerving to a woman who is petrified of recurrent loss.
Even after three consecutive miscarriages, many women are able to go on to conceive successfully. One problem is that after such loss, many women become unwilling to try. The idea of further loss is unbearable to someone who has faced the loss of a pregnancy on more than one occasion. There are many support groups and books and a lot of information available for people on ways to help carry a baby to term and people that you can talk to who can relate to much of what you are feeling.
The important thing to remember when again becoming pregnant after miscarriage is that miscarriages dont always recur. If you have had just one miscarriage, try to relax and take care of your physical and emotional health. Nothing can prepare you for loss but living with undue stress is not healthy for you or for your pregnancy.
Azzam Sheikh
Facilitator 'Strengthening families, strengthening communities' parent programme.
pregnancy resource center
