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It Might As Well Be Spring Shouldn It

2007-07-31

Has spring sprung? According to my calendar, it began at 12:07am GMT - otherwise known as Greenwich Mean Time. I googled GMT and discovered it's seven hours ahead of PDT. Last year this wasn't a problem. We were in Palm Springs, which at its coldest is spring-like.

It's a two to two and a half h

The Druggie, The Witch, You, Me and Harry Potter

2007-07-31

With the Harry Potter juggernaut chugging merrily along, almost anyone worth their weight in bat wingtip soup has dived into the fray of hot, bubbling pottering action. And that includes drug dealers no less! Heck, they aren't about to miss out on a good thing!

Not to be left out of the Harry Po

Why Is Mothers Day Only Once A Year

2007-07-31

Am I the only mother who wonders why Mother's Day is just once a year? The day a woman brings a child into the world she becomes a mother and she's a mother for the rest of her life.

The way I look at it, children who have been given the gift of life should find ways to thank their mothers every

Top 10 Signs Your Addicted to eBay

2007-07-31

There are literally millions of people that are striving each and everyday to make an easy buck online. The idea of making money online and especially, making money on eBay, is not new. In fact, the eBay market is a little too saturated if you ask me.

With all the nail-biting, finger-clawing, hea

Is It A Good Sign

2007-07-31

Signs are everywhere - street signs, traffic signs, business signs. There are streets named after flowers, trees and states; and of course, there's Main Street - even though the townspeople have moved to the suburbs.

The traffic signs that were red are now yellow because yellow is easier to see

Is There A Job You Wouldn Do

2007-07-31

"Jobs Americans Won't Do" has been in the news a lot lately; and I admit it - there are jobs I won't do.

I won't be a high-rise window washer. My fear of height overrides my desire to peek in windows.

To the other extreme, I won't be an oceanographer - the kind who explores the deeps in a li

Have You Found A Penny Recently

2007-07-31

If finding a penny is lucky, I must be luckier. I found a quarter and was lucky all day - especially when I didn't hurt my back bending over to pick it up. Traffic lights turned green for me, parking spaces appeared where I wanted them and the police car with the blaring siren that was quickly appro

What Do You Want In A President

2007-08-01

No one man has all the qualities I want my president to have, but maybe I want too much. I want a man of the people - someone who understands the problems of the common man - someone who tells it like it is - someone like a termite inspector.

My candidate should have experience governing. H

Is Camp A Four Letter Word

2007-07-31

To me camp is a four-letter word. To my husband and older son it's a secluded site nestled into scenic mountains. It's invigorating, fresh air and a gurgling, fish-laden stream. It's food that tastes better because it's cooked outside and it's camaraderie sitting around a blazing fire. It's not that

Were You Part Of The Collective Sigh After Christmas

2007-07-31

Christmas is 277 days away. Time to kick back and enjoy spring - or is it?

I have quite a few birthday and anniversary gifts to buy between now and then. And there'll be a few engagements and weddings - and showers of one type or another. Oh, I forgot about graduation and baptism gifts.

Dar

Whats An Emotional Massage

2007-07-31

Having a view of the ocean is like having an emotional massage.

Although modesty required covering the view at night, I didn't want coverings that would block the view during the day. Now, at the push of a button, shades come down; and at the push of a button, they disappear into the ceiling.

You are joking series Stonehenge 15 one liner funny jokes competition

2007-07-30

Stonehenge funny jokes competition is an annual event which is held every year on the first weekend in the month of March. It is a very popular event attended by people from all over the world and across all walks & spheres of life.

This year there were a record number of people in attendance:

How Clean Is Clean

2007-07-31

Housework is like raising kids - it's never done. Take dusting - please. Supposedly you're meant to dust after you vacuum because vacuuming causes more dust. Living causes dust.

I can see dust falling while I'm trying to wipe it away. Over the years I've replaced our dark furniture with light-co

Do You Take This Man

2007-07-31

Elopement is a gift a couple gives themselves. My sister had a large wedding, but I'm not sure she enjoyed it. Just as she was relaxing into fun mode, it was time to take pictures, greet guests, have the first dance, cut the cake, etc, etc, etc.

Instead, John and I eloped. No flowers, music, we

Orange You Glad Orange Is Out

2007-07-31

Where are all the Pet Rocks and the Beanie Babies and the Smurfs? The Hula Hoop got around and around in the fifties. In the sixties tie dyed t-shirts were to die for. By the end of the seventies bell bottom pants bottomed out and in the eighties big hair was literally big.

A fad is something th

To Join Or Not To Join

2007-07-31

Joiner? I didn't think I was a joiner. I wasn't a Brownie and I left the Girl Scouts before I had to earn a camping badge. I don't camp - unless you call surviving power outages camping.

I survived my childhood without having the sports gene. I didn't join in pick-up games of kick ball, volleyba

Is It A Rule

2007-07-31

"Don't put that in your mouth". "Don't touch". Our lives begin with rules and the amount of rules grows as we grow.

As soon as I could walk, I heard, "Don't run in the house". On one occasion, however, my mother ran. Actually, she was chasing my sisters and me with a water pistol; and it was my

Build It And They Will Come

2007-07-31

If you ask architects what's up, they'll say the project they just finished. Architects turn dreams into realities, bridge past and present and have high hopes for the future. As of now, the highest is Taipei 101 at 1,671 feet.

Los Angeles' architecture runs the gamut from a building that looks

Want Your Picture Taken Or Returned

2007-07-31

There are three types of photo collections - those in albums, those in boxes and those on refrigerator doors. Refrigerator photos are for people who think outside the box.

I don't like having my picture taken. If a picture is worth a thousand words, there are millions of words available to show

What Would You Do If You Ran The World

2007-07-31

No one has asked me yet; but if I ran the world, solving the problems of peace, health, and poverty would, of course, be first on my agenda. Then I'd solve the irksome problems that plague everyday life.

In the field of politics - where you have to be careful where you step - politicians' noses

Where Does Time Go And How Can I Stop It

2007-07-31

As a child I thought my grandmother was a bit strange because she complained about how fast time went. Fast? It was forever until cookie time. That was then. Now time passes so fast I feel wind burn.

I have to prioritize. I have to learn to say no because no one will say it for me. I have to st

Three Cheers For The Patriot Act

2007-07-30

I'm as patriotic as the next person, maybe even more so if the next person is the cashier at my local convenience store which still doesn't seem to employ REAL Americans; but I digress.

Anyway, the rules for being a patriotic American were always a little bit fuzzy prior to 9/11, so I thank God (

How Green Is Your Thumb

2007-07-31

Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden and I took that as a sign not to garden. My not having even a pale green thumb was a sign from Mother Nature I wasn't meant to garden.

Not so with my husband. He was born to garden. He was born with green hands.

When he had a garden, I could have writ

I Didn Know Did You

2007-07-31

Is it because I'm blond or don't I get out enough? The grocery store bagger put a "Thank You For Shopping Here" sticker on one of our paper bags. I thought it was supermarket PR. Who knew it was code for purchases paid for - not stolen.

Have you ever wondered why fresh flowers are put in upscal

Who Put The OK In Cook

2007-07-31

According to Webster's Dictionary, cooking is preparing food by boiling, baking, frying, etc. My family thinks etc. best describes mine. Okay, but I've come along way from using raw potatoes in curried potato salad to recreating dishes from "Gourmet Magazine". Because I was kitchen-challenged before

Don You Think Trashers Should Be Trashed

2007-07-31

Yesterday when I was driving along the freeway, a man in the car ahead of me threw a bag of fast-food trash out the passenger window. I gasped, then I raged, then I honked - not a little, hey-you honk. This was a long, in-your-face-from-behind-you honk.

What I got in return was a hand signal. The

When Is A Makeover Over

2007-08-02

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" When my mirror giggled, I made an appointment for a makeover at the "New You", a very chic beauty salon.

Did I want a manicure or a massage? How about a new hair style? I wanted the works. In by nine, out by five - just like my dry cle

The Truth Behind Valentines DayPast and Present

2007-07-31

It is not true that Valentine's day is a holiday invented by greedy greeting card companies eager to sell more stock or by candy companies to sell more chocolate, or general retailers to create more business once Christmas is over. It is easy to imagine that Valentine's Day was created by them beca

Am I The Only One

2007-07-31

Maybe it's because I'm a blond, but why would drivers go to a gas station that charges four cents more for a gallon of gasoline instead of going to the station across the street?

Four cents times twenty gallons times fifty-two weeks is forty-one dollars and sixty cents. That's like being paid fo

Women, Would You Like To Be A Man For A Day

2007-07-31

Would I like to be a man for a day? Sure. I'd like to walk a mile in my husband's Nikes. It would help me understand the male species. However...if I got lost while walking the mile, I'd ask directions.

Men are physically stronger, faster and have less body fat; but what I envy most is their clo

The Humble Inventor

2007-07-31

Some of the world's greatest innovators are people you've never heard of. Everyone knows about Alexander Graham Bell (the telephone), Edward Jenner (vaccination) and the like. But there are a whole host of less obvious inventions that probably never even entered your invention radar - if you have s

Can You Weather The Storm

2007-07-31

"I wish I could, but I don't have time". "Sorry, but I have too much to do". "Maybe I can fit it in next week". Monday turns into Thursday and Thursday turns into the following month. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. It's time to stop and smell the beef jerky treat.

It's time to enjoy the rea

DoYou Watch Your Words

2007-07-31

If you come across a word you don't know, look it up. My grandmother made that rule to improve her grandchildren's vocabularies and I can still hear her reminding me. Well, looking on the luminous side, if my dictionary is out of reach - or even better - in another room, I can increase my wordage an

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

2007-07-31

I didn't have to look for my husband. He was delivered to my front door by a mutual friend, who planned to introduce him to my older sister. Opportunity knocked, but I opened the door.

Opportunity can be anywhere - almost anywhere. I wouldn't look for husband material in a ninety-nine cent store

Wasn Making Hard Copies Easier

2007-07-31

According to Webster's Dictionary, compute - as in computer - means to make sense. Yeah, right. The only thing that makes sense to me is the carrying case. I understand how to use the zippered compartments and the inside pockets. I also managed to figure out how to use the Velcro strap to secure my

Couch Potato Success Factors

2007-07-30

There are five key character traits of superior couch potatoes. You really do need to become aware of these critical success factors if you are to master the underground couch potato world.

1. A total lack of interest in the outside world. Any self respecting couch potato has virtually no interes

How Natural Is The Natural Look

2007-07-31

There I was, walking through the department store when an attractive man in a white lab coat and brightly striped tie asked if I'd like a new look.

Being morning challenged, I unintentionally have a new look every day. However, he was offering a professional new look - a free, professional, new

Who Springs Into Cleaning

2007-07-31

If I ever run for political office, I'll pass a law that requires spring cleaning to be postponed until winter. Why waste days of blooming flowers, invigorating air and sweater-wearing temperatures inside the house - especially inside a dirty house. After being elected by a landslide, I'll spend my

Do Post its Stick To YourMind

2007-07-31

I can't remember the name of someone I met yesterday, but I can remember that Royal Pudding is rich, rich, rich in flavor and that you should see the USA in a Chevrolet.

TV ads are post-its for the mind - but not all of them stick. AT&T's campaign to reach out and touch someone made me reach out

Is Hurrying Stressful

2007-08-07

There's a difference between being stressed and being in a hurry. I'm a hurrier and I come from a long line of them.

My grandmother told a story about the Devil asking three of his associates how he could get more people to go to Hell. The first associate suggested telling them there's no Heaven

What Couldn You Do Without

2007-07-31

Post-its - what would I do without post-its? The older I get, the more I need them. Although they come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors, the basic, yellow square covers everything for me - literally.

Post-its are on the refrigerator, of course; but they can also be found on my computer,

Does Chattering Idly Sound Like Gossip

2007-07-31

If we're honest with ourselves, we'll admit we like to hear that someone's life is more out of control than ours. It explains the popularity of soap operas and tabloid newspapers.

"Brittany Spears Look-alike Is Space Alien" or "Woman Who Shoots Leopard Has Spotted Child" or "Man Loses Four Hundr

Have You Stopped To Watch The World Go By Recently

2007-07-31

Some people stop to smell the roses. I stop to watch the world go by. When I see boys wearing over-sized clothing and girls dressing up in Brittany Spears' outfits, I smile. Now I know how my mother felt when I teased my hair, wore blue eye shadow and dated boys with sideburns and greased- back hair

Are You And Your Mate Well Mated

2007-07-31

I admit it. I was the victim of marriage tests in women's magazines. When my marriage failed the "Marital Aptitude Test", I was concerned. When it failed "Are You and Your Mate Well Mated?", I started to worry. However, when it failed the "Monogamous Multiple Choice", I decided my marriage needed he

Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life

2007-07-30

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy.

1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did.

2. To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a

Do You Feel Foolish

2007-07-31

I decided the way to avoid feeling foolish on April Fool's Day was to be empowered by knowledge - no joke. Okay, I didn't spend hours researching the subject in the library; but I did google it.

Supposedly this day of duping family and friends started in France in 1564 - which explains why their

Can Feng Shui Make Men Romantic

2007-07-31

When I told my husband I was going to practice yoga, he mistakenly thought the improved flexibility of my body would make my opinions more flexible.

When I told him I was going to have acupuncture, he didn't get the point - literally. John didn't believe inserting a needle between the two bones

Do You Give Yourself Credit

2007-07-31

Once upon a time, not too long ago, my husband thought I had too many credit cards - especially for clothing shops and department stores. John thought having so many credit cards could discredit our credit.

I charged salon services, movie tickets and luncheons with friends - which seem to cost m

Whats WYT Shopping

2007-07-31

Too busy to gift shop during the year and too overwhelmed at Christmas? WYT shopping is for you! WYT stands for While You're There. It's based on the premise you can buy presents anywhere.

When you go to the gym, buy a one-month membership for a friend. Misery loves company.

While you're at

Do Clothes Horses Wear Polo Shirts

2007-08-07

If clothes make the man, dressing for success is done one pant leg at a time. A scientist needs a white lab coat. Both male and female executives need to be well coiffed in tailored suits, but the female executive has a chip on her shoulder from hitting her head on the glass ceiling. Politicians, wi

Are You Running On Automatic

2007-07-31

What a difference a day makes - unless you're going through life on automatic. Scientists are no help. They say we shouldn't sleep late even if we have the chance. Supposedly not getting up at the same time every day has a negative effect on our biorhythms. Obviously, those scientists don't have you

Whats A Television Without Pictures

2007-07-31

If I had to choose between television and radio, I'd choose the latter - reality over reruns. However, music doesn't sooth my savage beast. It doesn't quiet my thoughts. I listen to talk shows because they occupy my mind by giving me something else to think about.

I enjoy having my thoughts chal

Have You Been Nailed

2007-07-31

Pink Gin, Pale Punk Pink, In the Pink - I think naming nail polishes would be a delightfully colorful job - until my boss thought I was having too much fun and suggested I name a polish Pink Slip Pink.

When someone names a polish Miraculous Mauve, I might be able to polish my nails without also

Is It A Good Look Or A Stare

2007-07-31

Confession of a frustrated female: because it's been four weeks since I last saw my stylist, I've been plagued by bad hair days. I couldn't be more hair challenged if I were the Easter Bunny on disability.

My hair is short. As soon as the messy look was in style,I thought I'd found hirsute heave

Who Put M And E In Computer

2007-07-31

My COMPUTER is my friend. My computer IS my friend. My computer is my FRIEND. No matter how I said it, I couldn't convince myself. This past winter it was frozen more than Grand Forks, North Dakota.

When I have a problem with my computer, my husband offers to share his until mine is fixed; but t

Never Open An Outhouse Door Without Knocking

2007-07-30

I suppose that every hometown of every child holds certain favorite hiding places, or short cuts, or little-known doors or cubbyholes or secret passageways or whatever, and Auburn was no exception.

One of my favorite such places was the train tunnel that ran under Palm Avenue and the Auburn

Internet Scams and the Charlatans Behind Them

2007-07-30

If you've ever been interested in making money on the internet, then at some point you've probably visited your favorite search engine and typed in one of the following phrases: "Make Money" - "Work From Home" - "Get Rich Online." And, you've encountered some deliciously interesting results.

My

Is There An Art To Judging Good Art

2007-07-31

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is that where art is too? According to my husband, art doesn't have to be defined - just appreciated. He should know. He majored in art history in college. Opposites attract.

I don't know representational art from abstract art. When we're in museums, I'm

What Happens When Mother Nature Mixes Black and White

2007-07-31

Today's not just a gray day. It's the third one in a row and it's a Monday. It doesn't get much grayer than that. The worst thing about getting out of bed this morning was having to make the bed. Then I had to brush my teeth, That sounds easy, but it was a daunting challenge. I had to remove both my

Do You Want To Bet It Hasn Changed

2007-07-31

When I wasn't looking, someone put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on Las Vegas. It's no longer family friendly. The money Mom and Dad were spending on wizard hats and amusement park rides wasn't being spent in casinos, which spin, roll and throw much greater profits.

New luxury hotels appear overnight

Did You Buy It

2007-07-31

Ads are everywhere! We expect them on television and radio. We just don't expect them so often.

We've been conditioned to expect them before movies start - whether we bought a ticket or rented a DVD. Now ads are in the movies. It's called product placement. Ford will pay to have Brad Pitt drive

Are You A Creature Of Habit

2007-07-31

Do you wash your face before you brush your teeth, put cream in your coffee before sugar, read the entertainment section of the newspaper before the sports?

When someone holds out a hand, we shake it. When someone sneezes, we say bless you. When someone is behind us, we hold the door for him or

Is Health Food Really Healthy

2007-07-31

Hell-th food is what my sons thought about my attempts to have them eat healthier. Of course, children think anything they don't like is health food. When my sons found out liver wasn't healthy and they wouldn't have to eat it again, they became more supportive.

Okay, at first they beefed about

Have You Heard White Whisper And Read Roar

2007-07-31

Colors talk, but you have to listen very carefully.

The most important thing Black says is you're not in the red. It also says tuxedo and mourning. It still says priest, but to street-clothes-wearing nuns Black says nunsense.

For most people Blue brags about eyes and sky and ocean. For other

Are Sitters An Endangered Species

2007-07-31

I am one of the lucky ones. I work at home. My commute is less than thirty seconds and I'm much less likely to spill Starbuck's coffee on my lap. However, all house and no play makes for the occasional need of a sitter - but where have all the sitters gone?

Sitters seem to have become an endange

The Woody Allen Quick Quips Survival Guide

2007-07-31

How do we handle the stress of life? Zen and yoga are probably on top of the list. But what's the next best thing?

Humor. Definitely humor.

Somehow it clears the mind. It's hard to be mad or sad when you're laughing. When impending clouds of gloom are pierced with a ray of sunny wit, th

Is Self Therapy Theraputic

2007-07-31

If you live in Southern California and you're not in therapy, you just haven't realized you have problems. I'm in therapy - self-therapy. Appointments always coincide with my schedule, I can afford it and I have a variety of different therapies to offer myself.

There's the newspaper therapy. I c

Do You Remember Your School Daze

2007-08-01

I still have nightmares about being unprepared for school tests. Would dream analysts interpret that as meaning I don't feel in control of my life or that I have a fear of failure? Maybe I just need to be better prepared for blood tests and eye tests.

I went to an all girls' school - white blouse

Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing What is it

2007-07-30

If you're like me, you spend hours surfing the internet looking for weird stuff that you've never seen or read about before. During my extensive research one evening, as I scoured cyberspace to find some new and unusual crap to entertain myself with, I finally found what I was looking for.

At ab

Possessed By Your Possessions

2007-07-31

Home is where the heart is. As newlyweds, our hearts' first home was a two-room apartment furnished in contemporary Salvation Army.

Like many newlyweds, John and I were poor in possessions, but rich in time together. We didn't have a vacuum cleaner - we didn't need one. I cleaned our one, tiny r

How Do You Say Equal In French

2007-07-31

No, I didn't go river rafting or rock climbing or skeet shooting. My sense of accomplishment came from single-handedly getting a sitter.

Yes, I found a responsible, experienced, college sophomore, who didn't have a date on Saturday night. Unfortunately, her boyfriend comes back from National Gua

How Do You Look To Others

2007-07-31

My looks aren't mine. I could tell you I look like Jacquelyn Smith with blond hair or Diane Sawyer with short hair or Jamie Lee Curtis with better movie choices, but my looks depend on how others see me.

Technically, I look like the combination of my mother's egg and my father's sperm; but becau

How Old Is Your Car In People Years

2007-07-31

I'm not in the fast lane. What's in and what's on the road pass me by. My car is thirty-eight years old. In people years that's five hundred ninety.

I've had my car for twenty of its thirty-eight years. In DMV years twenty is at least four times I haven't
had to register a new car.

A new c

Does Every Litter Bit Hurt

2007-07-31

PAT is my personal system for handling litter. No, not the stuff that's thoughtlessly strewn along streets and highways and is dropped in parks and on beaches. PAT, which stands for Put Away Things, is for the litter in my house. PAT is what keeps casual living from turning into chaos.

Dirty dis

Are You An Optimist

2007-07-31

How do I know I'm an optimist? I know because I meet the three, most obvious requirements. I got out of bed this morning, I'm married and I have children.

Of course, there are lots of other ways to tell if someone's a positive person. When the weatherman forecasts a party cloudy day, a positive

Are They Driving You Crazy

2007-07-31

I don't know why women got a reputation for being bad drivers - unless pushing supermarket carts counts as driving. I think I'm a good driver. After all, I spent seven years driving in New York City. When I sang "New York, New York", I changed the words. I sang "If you can drive it there, you can dr

Mobile Disco Quick Before They Lock Us In

2007-07-31

I was roadie for Martyn Brown on one of his mobile disco shows last week. As you may know, one of Martyn's home businesses is running a mobile disco agency where he is self employed as a disc jockey.

I don't normally roadie for him but his usual guy couldn't make the venue so he asked me. I al

Were The Good Old Days Better

2007-07-31

When people refer to the good, old days, I don't know if those days were better or just different. I know the cipher zero was different. It hadn't been confused with the letter "O" in numbers.

I remember candy bars costing ten cents. Not only were they cheaper, they were bigger. Both children a

A Concise History Of Cartoons And Funny Pictures

2007-07-31

We all like to laugh and a smile and there is no quicker way to evoke joy than looking at cartoons and humorous pictures.

For as long as man has been able to paint and draw, funny pictures and cartoons have been depicted on caves walls, canvas, paper, floors, ceilings and even skin!

Many award

Who Put The Super In Supermarket

2007-07-31

Someone super sized my supermarket. Because we moved, we changed supermarkets. Although it's less than four miles away, it's worlds apart.

In addition to the usual items, it has a Starbucks and a bank. You need a bank if you're a regular Starbuck's customer.

It also has a pharmacy and a flor

Just A Bus Trip Or A Daytime Nightmare

2007-07-30

I found myself having to catch a bus last week, the second week of the children's school summer holiday. I was instructed to take my son to his Grandma's house and with my wife having the car it left me with no choice but to do something that I hadn't done for over twenty years - take the bus.

T

Are You Off Track

2007-07-31

Frankly, I never thought I'd have this particular train of thought; but to avoid a long drive home in rush-hour traffic, my husband and I decided to travel by train to visit friends.

I heard there were first class cars. I'm not sure because John bought coach tickets. I wish he'd by Coach when I

What Does America Say To You

2007-07-31

The flag, apple pie and baseball - what does America say to you?

To me it also says freedom. It says pioneer spirit. It's our pioneer spirit that inspires us to build bigger and better. Shopping malls, amusement parks and space travel have been new worlds for us to conquer.

We're the ones wh

Another Blond Joke

2007-07-31

I'm a blond by choice. Do I have more fun? I'm not sure, but I know I have more salon appointments.

Some days I feel blonder than others. One day I couldn't start my car because the shift wasn't in park. Another day I couldn't find my glasses because they were on top of my head.

Because I'm

Expecting The Unexpected

2007-07-31

The best thing about unexpected guests - yes, there is a best thing - is that you have no expectations.

Until a few years ago I thought a phone call announcing the imminent arrival of an unexpected guest qualified as an obscene phone call. Now I can be ready in minutes.

First, I postpone the

Can Exercise Be Exorcised

2007-07-31

My conscience won't go on vacation. I can slather it with sunscreen and lay it in the sun, I can buy it maps and take it sightseeing, I can dress it up and take it out for a romantic dinner - but it refuses to go on vacation.

While I'm trying to have fun, my conscience continually lectures me. A

How Often Do You Gamble

2007-07-31

A family that has its reunion in Las Vegas obviously believes that a family that gambles together...prays together. On our flight home I realized I don't have the face for poker, the luck for roulette or any idea how to play craps.

Once when playing black jack, I got up the courage to double dow

Does Environmentally Sound Make A Noise

2007-07-31

A litterbug is someone who drops something, but picks it up when asked. Litterbugs who don't respond to "Excuse me, you dropped something" should be called litter roaches.

Frequently you see people in orange vests picking up litter along highways. Often this is punishment for their wrongdoings.

Are Television Commercials Rude

2007-07-31

"But first a few words from our sponsors" and those few words are turning into more and more. There are also more and more commercial interruptions and they never say excuse me when they interrupt.

Most people ignore this rudeness and use commercials as snack breaks and toilet trips, but no one

An Eye for an Apprentice

2007-07-31

First impressions count and it's a well known fact that we judge people within the first seven seconds of meeting them. Whether we like them, trust them or even want to keep talking to them is all determined in a very short space of time. If this is the case, then why has Alan Sugar, TV's favourite

For Better Or For Worse

2007-07-31

I'm married to John Doe. Well, not really. It's just that when I write about him, he'd like to be anonymous. Thankfully, he didn't feel that way when I gave birth to our sons.

My girlfriends envy the fact that my husband helps make the bed, do the laundry and wash the dishes. For some reason the

Have You Been To France

2007-08-06

A friend sent me a postcard from France. The rolling hills of Provence, lush vineyards and charming chateaus - yes, I remember it well.

When my husband and I went to France, I packed so much he accused me of trying to smuggle things into the country for a garage sale. I'm a girl scout at he

Would You Rather Have A Boyfriend Or A Dog

2007-07-31

If you could only have one, which would it be - a boyfriend or a dog? When you think about it, they have several things in common.

Both can do tricks; but when a boyfriend plays dead, he's in front of the television.

A dog can be taught to fetch the newspaper and your slippers. A boyfriend c

Dice Sports Games That Are Fun the Pro Football Game.

2007-07-30

This is the next installment in a world of incredibly fun sports games played with dice. In the first installment I taught you how to play the college version of "Dice Football". That was the simplest of all my dice sports games. Now it is time to start getting a little more complex. As, in all my d

What If You Made a Web Page and Nobody Came To Visit

2007-07-31

What a problem. You spend all your spare time for months creating a web page. Staying up late into the night even when you have to get up and go to work the next morning. Your wife or kids or friends wonder what happened to you and start to believe you do not care about them anymore.

Finally

How I Found Out That God Bowls On Monday Evenings at 7

2007-07-30

I grew up in a little town named Auburn in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains. On Sundays we faithfully attended the Pioneer Methodist Church, directly across the street from Harry Sand's Chapel of the Hills Funeral Home. My folks were married in that church in September of 1929, a fact wh

Do Some Days Seem Thirty four Hours Long

2007-07-31

Every day's a gift my grandmother insisted. I agree. It's just that some are wrapped much more prettily than others.

It's not easy to think a day is a gift if you've lost your purse, gotten a speeding ticket or forgotten your anniversary. That's the kind of gift that isn't the right size, is mi

Humor and YouTube

2007-07-31

In the days of old, men, women and children sat around a fire or under a tree listening to an elder of the village tell them stories. Fast track to the couple of centuries later, the women and children are still getting entertained but the medium is no longer human. Its this black box or if you are

Useless Bits of Body

2007-07-31

Chinese food - my favourite. I'm particularly partial to spare ribs, although I have often wondered why certain animals have bits which are considered "spare."

It is often misquoted that women have one extra rib compared to men, a fallacy which is no doubt biblical in origin. Anatomically, both m

Do You Find Convenience Inconvenient

2007-07-31

What's so convenient about kitchen conveniences? I don't have an electric coffee pot, an electric espresso maker, an electric can opener, an electric hot pot or an electric sealer. No, I'm not against progress. I'm against making extra work for myself. The more modern the kitchen convenience, the mo